Time
One Month Today…
“It seems like yesterday, but then it seems like forever.” How many times have we heard those words or how many times have we uttered them ourselves? I’m feeling like that today about what we experienced on December 20th, the tragic explosion that took the lives of our dear friends, Dave and Sheila Churchman and Mary Churchman. And then a week later, Don Churchman.
(L-R) “Me”, Sheila, Dave, Bradley, Kimberly, Don; Richele with her back turned. Waiting for a parade in Algiers - February, 1979. Yeah…almost seems like yesterday!
I’m not an “anniversary” remembering kind of person. I don’t mark events - good or bad - on a calendar and celebrate or mourn that event on the “anniversary”. I could never understand when I was a teenager why some of my girlfriends would want to celebrate how many days they had been going out with a particular guy. Were they trying to break a record or something? Keeping track of that and then wanting to celebrate it just didn’t cross my mind. These girls would be a little upset with that guy if he forgot to remember that special date and didn’t present them with some little “remembrance”. However, I am not totally out of touch. I DO remember our anniversary and the birthdays of family and friends. I just don’t celebrate as much as some people do. I like to celebrate birthdays and wedding anniversaries, but it’s not important to me that we celebrate on the actual day. After all, it’s just a calendar. I’m not saying that I’m not tied to the calendar; in our busy world and in coordinating everyones schedules we have to be. And Owen will tell you that I am definitely tied to the clock - something I am determined to improve on. But on the subject of events in our lives, my feeling is that we must put that event in the library of our brain and take it off the shelf often to read through it, learn from it and use whatever we have learned to improve ourselves in our lives going forward.
I can tell you that I am learning much from the event of December 20th - cherish the moment, don’t put off until tomorrow what I can do today, use my time wisely (whatever it means at the moment), don’t sweat the small stuff, remember to surround myself with people I REALLY enjoy and enjoy life with those people. I know there is much more that I will learn each time I take that book off the library shelf of my brain, which has been everyday, several times a day in the last month. One of the things I’ve learned is that I need to look at that book and the memories it holds in order to cope with the sudden loss of friends who were so much a part of our lives. I am going through the same grief as others in this situation, asking “Why?”, “Why them?”, “Why now?”. I have realized in the last day or two that I must stop asking “why” because I am not going to get an answer - at least while in this world. I have always believed that God has a plan for each of us, but it does befuddle me as to how He works it all out. It is certainly not the way I would do it sometimes, but I still have to trust Him and know that He will work this out for all who are personally touched by this loss and others we have experienced this past year.
Having said earlier that I don’t celebrate or mourn events according to a calendar, this one will be indelibly etched in my mind. I won’t have to put it on a calendar.
Just a couple of more pictures…
Yesterday? Well, maybe the day before - Summer ‘76 or ‘77
Mary Churchman & Irene (my mother), May 2003
Owen & Dave, May 2003
Dave and Owen - December, 2006
January 21st, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Great post — love the photos!
Someone once said that we ask “Why?” to questions that do not have an answer because it helps to mask our pain.
January 21st, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Mom,
I love the pictures and the post. I know it is so hard to feel such loss and pain, but as you know God is helping you through and growing us all.
I love you!
January 22nd, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Sandy,
I really enjoyed the pictures — especially the first one!
Upon reading your post, the first thought that came to mind was the same quote that Brad posted regarding the question why… Truly, for some “why” questions, there is no good answer — at least not that we’ll understand here on earth.
Love you,
Carrie
January 28th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Sandy, I just found your Blog and have truly enjoyed reading it. You have truly expressed the essence of Dave, Shelia and Mary. I was not as fortunate to know Dave and Shelia as long as you but the short time was the most wonderful experience of mine and Dennie’s. I did have the joy of knowing Mary for the past 25 years. She always welcomed us with open arms. Dave & Shelia treated Dennie & I with such great love and freindship!!! They could rub elbows with some of the most influential people on earth and turn around and enjoy the simple things in life. We were with them the day after Thanksginving up at the camp on Toledo and spent the whole day in lounge pants talking!! We always loved hearing them tell of their travels, adventures and friends. You and Owen were mentioned quite often in Dave’s “Stories”. I am truly thankfull that we got to spend our last dinner with them two days before this horrible event. We hugged and kissed each other goodbye as always and said “see ya Thursday” !!! Unfortunatley it didn’t happen. As it has been said before, you are not given the next second in life so be sure to hug, kiss and tell the people in your life that “YOU LOVE ” them!! Dave, Shelia & Mary have touched and blessed so many lives!!!!! Dennie and I can truly say they touched ours!!!! Sorry to have gone on so long. As you know there are so many more adventures to tell about!!!
Take care and May God Bless You !!
Teresa
February 21st, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Hi, Sandy;
Although you and I have not met, I knew Dave and, later, Shiela, and their children, by work association. Several of us from Baker CAC Inc. have just recently heard the horrible news. We are so sad to lose these friends. Seven of us had dinner together last year, when Dave and Shiela, and Kim, met us in the quarter.
May I post some comments regarding my friend, starting with 1970 era when I first knew him?
Thanks.
Bob Howell
Belle Chasse
February 21st, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Bob,
Though we may not have met, I recognize your name. I remember when Dave worked for Baker. I would be happy for you to comment. Owen and I miss them so very much. I am sorry that I haven’t thought of contacting people at Baker. I think most of us who knew them so well and also their family have all been in such a state of shock since this happened.
Thanks for posting…
February 22nd, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Vol.1 (because Dave was a very busy person)
In the early seventies, Dave was a salesman for a company that made hydraulic accumulators, and called on me at my job as shop foreman in Belle Chasse. Dave was a very likeable guy, and we became friends.
In 1976 I moved to Baker CAC in Belle Chasse. After a time, we needed someone to be our salesman and manage our business in Saudi Arabia, and I knew a great salesman. I asked Dave if that kind of thing was interesting to him. He said it was, as he and Shiela had often wanted to spend some time overseas. So I arranged an interview for him, and he got hired.
He and I went to Saudi, so I could show him around, and introduce him to our customers there. Shortly after, he moved his family there, and they lived in a nice villa at the Al Rushaid compound in Al Khobar.
And what a difference that life was for them. For one thing, they discovered all the eats of the middle east, and in no time our field personnel were enjoying Lebanese, Chinese, German, and some American food. And Shiela got to see the inner working of having household help.
I remember that the house boy they had, who was from Thailand or some other place none of us had yet been to, had been given instructions to clean and dust, if there was nothing else to do. Well, he drove Shiela nuts, always dusting. They had a large, 8-foot tall fish tank in the house, about 18″ square. That house boy nearly wiped the glass from the face of it, but he did clean it every day.
Of course, Don and Kim were very young, and enrolled in the local American school.
One day, Shiela and Dave were outside cooking on the barbeque. And suddenly, Shiela looked into the sky, and jumped up and shouted to Dave to look! Dave saw nothing but the Saudi sky. But Shiela saw something she had not seen in months. Clouds.
In Saudi, the prevailing westerly winds dry out while passing over the mountains, and there is no moisture left to make clouds by the time it gets to the easter side. But sometimes, in the spring, just enough moisture is present to make one or two clouds. Shiela saw them, and we all had a drink. We had a lot of drinks with them.
Saudi customs prevented Americans from observing any religious customs. Couldn’t wear a cross, or show any outward signs of Christianity. No problem for Dave.
My brother, Chuck, was at the time working 30-on and 30-off in the Saudi crew. Around Thanksgiving of that year, he was in New Orleans, getting ready to return to Saudi. Got a call from Dave. Wanted Chuck to bring a Christmas tree with him when he went to Saudi the following week.
Chuck pointed out to him that the customs people would confiscate it at the airport, as a religious symbol. Dave said all was arranged, just bring it.
When Chuck got to the Dhahran airport, there was Dave, with the local agents main boy. They had an import certificate allowing a special “Garden Greenery for local beautification” to be brought into the kingdom. That year, the Baker CAC crew in Khobar had the only Christmas tree in the kingdom. Shiela had already brought in all the lights and decorations.
Of course, the Saudi customs people always drove Shiela nuts. Whenever a cute American woman arrived, the customs guys loved to go through their suitcases, and hold up unmentionables in the air and show them to the other agents.
Later, I’ll tell about the time Ms. Mary got to go to Saudi Arabia, in spite of the prohibition against single women getting visas into the Kingdom. But no problem for Dave.
more to follow…….
March 8th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Hello, today is March 8th, 2008 and I just found out what happened.
I was a freind of Dons since we were in the National Guard together and recently got reaquainted with him in New Orleans.
I had been trying to catch up with him for the past three months and now I know why he has not returned my phone call. I wish I could say something that would lessen the despair, but all I can tell you is that I will miss him and I will pray for his family that they may recover.
Don was a liver. He never shyed away from having fun and enjoying the moment. I will always remember him.
March 29th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Vol 2 ( in which we learn of some interests and talents)
I made my first trip to Saudi a few weeks after Dave moved there, and he was staying at the Dhahran Mariott Hotel (now a nursing home, I think). Dave and I would be up at 3:00 a.m., quick breakfast, then hit the road for Safaniyah, about 250 miles away, so as to make some sales calls.
Dave got onto the main highway, set the cruise control, and we headed north. I noticed that he had the cruise control set at 96 mph. I had never travelled that fast except in an airplane, and here we were doing it for three hours. He had gotten the local mechanic to do some special adjustments to the cruise control, since by design they usually hook up at about 25 mph (minimum) and won’t work after about 85 mph (the design maximum). But the local guy knew that if you tuned it up correctly, it would not hook up until 45 mph (new minimum) but would stay hooked up to 96 mph. He swore he put new tires on every three months, for safety.
At that, we would still sometimes be passed by natives, in their Mercedes, doing much more than 96 mph. Of course, we did sometimes see the natives at their crash sites, too. Not too pretty.
On a later trip, Dave had a cassette on the car player, and I was astonished at what he was playing. I knew Dave to be a pretty well spoken guy, but Luciano Pavarotti was not something I thought he new about.
But Dave loved opera, it turned out. Sometimes flew to Athens, and to other venues, with his friend the Prince, who lived next door to the Baker CAC villa in the Al Rushaid compound. The Prince was a pilot in the Royal Saudi Air Force, and I still have an autographed framed picture of the Prince flying a C-130.
On another trip, when we got near to Safaniyah after the 3-hour drive, and as we were nearing the town, Dave asked if I had any food cravings, being away from New Orleans for a few weeks.
Well, yeah, but local limits are tough. Dave said, “how about a few Royal Castle hamburgers, grilled in onions, and a cold coke?”.
I laughed at the thought. But Dave knew what he was doing. He pulled in to the little Saudi gas station up ahead, and we went into the little diner next door. And the guy behind the counter greeted Dave like a long lost brother. Dave orders us 6 hamburgers, and cold cokes.
Turned out Dave had to introduce the cook to hamburgers, and then had to bring the Royal Castle hamburgers to Saudi by the case just so he could have some whenever he wanted.
Baker CAC joined the local ex-pat community routine, and our company became a sponsor of a softball team, consisting of local Aramco employees (most from Texas and Louisiana). Now, the usual custom was for the sponsor to buy the team jerseys, hats, and trinkets.
Well, most teams had those two-dollar baseball caps, in team colors to match the jerseys. But Dave did not do things in a simple way. No, the Baker CAC baseball hats were the only ones in Saudi that had the gold trim (known as scrambled eggs) on the top of the bills. We really looked good on the field.
One trip, we were invited to the home of a local Baker Oil Tools manager, and his wife, for a dinner and drinks. Yeah, Dave and Shiela knew where the drinks were. One of the guests was The Sheriff of Al Khobar, himself, in his robes and scarves. His drink was Scotch, too. Nice guy. There were also four of us from Baker CAC, including legal team members from Houston. And, a special guest, Ms. Mary was there from Colfax Louisiana. She spent a few months there (unheard of for a single female of ANY age to visit Saudi, but no problem for our Dave). Ms. Mary had a blast in Saudi, and became a close friend of all the people she met.
I recently told our mutual friend, Edwin (Red) Powell, who lives in Belle Chasse, the news of the explosion. Red and Dave were great friends in Saudi, as Red spent many years as one of our crew chiefs rotating 30 and 30 to the kingdom. And Dave met every flight in or out, and drove the crew to and from their worksites in all the crazy places there that we had crew work. And Red says that if they called Dave and said they needed anthing (often more film to do pictures of work needed, to sent to us in Belle Chasse), then Dave would be there early next morning, with the film.
Dave knew the local Pan-Am staion agent, a young New Yorker named Rudy, and when Dave took me to the airport to leave for New Orleans, we always visited with Rudy in the airport tea room. And Dave nurtured a good relationship with Rudy, who was the important lifeline out of Kingdom in an emergency. Rudy got me on the flight one night, when it was severely overbooked, without hesitation. And, one night, he also got a very sick CAC field hand out on the flight to New York, which meant we didn’t have to take him to the local hospital. No airline would take a sick passenger because of legal questions. To Dave, it was just a part of what he did to help the guys on the ground. And Red Powell remembers him well.
In London, I remember that Dave and Shiela had friends, who turned out to be Sandy and Owen Batt. Well, I also let our London friends know the bad news. And Eddie and Sandy Edmunds, who worked for Baker CAC in Abu Dhabi, Dubai, and Singapore, remembered meeting and enjoying a party in London with Dave and Shiela, and they met Ms. Mary, too.
Everywhere they went, everybody remembers them, and is sorry for the bad news.
I spent a lot of hours in the car with Dave. I liked him a lot, and I miss him. I wish he and his family were still here, because they had a good time, and showed us a good time, and treated us very well. I guess God needed some more nice people in Heaven, that he took them from us.
I hope Kim, and Dave’s sister, Ludi, are doing well.
with Love and great respect;
Bob
March 30th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Thanks for sharing these stories, Bob. Yes, Dave was definitely “one of a kind”.
April 4th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Hi, today is April 3, 2008
I live in Canada. I worked as a nurse in New Orleans 15 yrs ago for one year, where I met and went out with Don a handful of times. I then returned to Canada and lost touch. Recently he has been in my thoughts. Last Sunday for reasons unbeknownst to me, I decided to google his name after 15 years and found your site. It was with disbelief, and sadness I read of the tragic fate which befell someone so full of life and with so much hope for the future. He spoke of his family with such pride and love that I knew at the time they must be very special …..Was this Don’s way of saying goodbye? I don’t know…but as I was reading your site I felt he or the spirit, wanted me to know.
Thank you for your site, I am so sorry for your loss.
Condolences to his sister and wife.
February 12th, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Hi.I just wanted to say that i knew Dave as well.I did not know him as well as my husband but he was very nice man.I met him in azerbaijan,Dons wife is from azerbaijan as well.They were leaving azerbaijan all together at that time.We were watching Rangers glasgow football team and having a drink he had beer and we had jd.
I met him last time not long before its all happened and we all was terrified and felt very sorry and untill now.It does seem to be that it happened just yesterday.
All the best to daughter and wife.
February 27th, 2010 at 8:18 pm
Hi - I was so sorry to hear about the Churchmans. I thought of them today and found your blog online. I met them in Azerbaijan in Baku where they owned the Fisherman’s Wharf restaurant. They allowed us Peace Corps Volunteers to watch tape-delayed Super Bowls at their restaurant since we couldn’t catch the game in our villages.
How did this happen? I know there was a natural gas explosion but that’s all I’ve heard. Is Don’s wife still alive? Did she return to Russia? Thanks for your blog.
February 27th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
Yes…a natural gas explosion. Narmina did survive, but I’m not certain where she is living now. I believe she is still in the U.S. Dave and Sheila knew so many people and we feel that we knew many of their friends just from their talking about them all the time. They enjoyed their time in Baku, but we were happy when they returned to the U.S. Our hearts are still heavy… thanks for commenting.
April 25th, 2010 at 10:41 am
This matter was very enlightening and properly created. I prepare to accomplish some much more investigation on this. Thank you for discussing this timely info. We require more such as this.
April 25th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
Great article, thank you!
June 2nd, 2010 at 4:53 am
I can not believe what i have just came across, i was dons girlfriend for years and was to marry him, i had moved to dubai and to baku to be with him, we had met in new orleans, i have tried to find him several times but this is the first time i came across this shocking site, my heart goes out to his family and especialy kimberly, i am so sorry for your loss, i loved you all.